I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
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