Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
