I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
