I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
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