I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize