If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
