So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
