Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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