I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
