I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize