whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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