Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
