sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
