no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
