You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
