he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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