its not stalking. its research.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
