Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
