How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
