you guys were way drunker than both of me
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
