I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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