First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
