Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
