Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
