omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
