Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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