I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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