i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
How does it feel to date your dad?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
