also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Randomize
