My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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