He uses pillows to masturbate.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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