i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
