She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
