can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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