Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
