Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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