you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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