so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
