your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize