Where are you?
In a non slutty way
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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