he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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