i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
