would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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