Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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