I am spending my child support on dildos
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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