I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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