We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
