Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize