Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Randomize
