Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
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