Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We have started to decorate penises.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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