he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
