so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
