yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
