So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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