The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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