He asked me if I "almost moaned"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
