come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
