OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
