a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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