I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize