i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
